The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

A Counterintuitive Approach to Living A Good Life

Book - 2016 | First edition, First HarperOne hardcover
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For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "Fuck positivity," blogger Mark Manson says. "Let's be honest, shit is fucked and we have to live with it." This book is his antidote to the coddling, let's-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited: "Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can care about, so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with stories and profane, ruthless humor.
Publisher: New York : HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2016
Edition: First edition, First HarperOne hardcover
Copyright Date: ©2016
ISBN: 9780062457714 (hardback)
0062457713 (hardback)
(ebook)
(audio)
Branch Call Number: 158.1 MAN
Characteristics: vii, 212 pages ; 22 cm
Alternative Title: Subtle art of not giving a f*ck

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m
mandrelld
Feb 05, 2020

Wow... Just wow... I feel really bad for the average work-a-day Joe who tries to implement the strategies in this book. They are going to be in for a rude awakening when reality b*tch smacks them back to the real wold and they get to face all those f*ck's they thought they got to not give...

That's another thing. The author uses the uncensored word f*ck a f*ucking lot. Like all the f*cking time, regardless if f*ck is really needed. If he can use f*ck with some kind of f*cking alliteration, you better f*cking bet he'll work some more f*cks in there. If the last three sentences make you uncomfortable, this book is probably not for you. The extensive use of f*ck seriously distracts from the flawed points he's trying to make.

Before taking this book to heart, you should listen to the author describe his situation. He's self-employed, does not have money concerns (already has enough), and admittedly doesn't give a f*ck about most things most adults have to deal with. If you could quit your job today and be okay, or just ignore anything you don't like to do around the house and expect your spouse to do everything with a smile, then maybe consider applying the principals you learn in this book. Most of us are not this privileged.

The main thesis of this book tries to apply Marie Kondo's principal of only keeping things that bring you joy to all aspects of your life, including responsibilities, relationships, etc. Let me break down some of his "insights" for you:
- Don't like work meetings? Fine! Don't go anymore! If you find yourself in one anyway, just work on something else like your shopping list or vacation plans during the meeting instead!
- Don't like conference calls? Awesome, don't participate!
- Don't like having people hassle you about missed meetings and conference calls? Don't worry, just block out all day every day on your work calendar. People will soon give up trying to schedule meetings with you!
- Don't like doing reports at work you think are meaningless? That's cool, don't do them! I mean what's going to happen anyway? It's not like they are going to fire you, you're a valuable team member! (Remember, this is coming from someone who does not have a boss, has no employees, and really does not give a f*ck if you get fired.)

When you catch grief for these strategies, just say it's a personal policy! I mean, who can argue with that?!?

Picture this... What is the utility company going say/do when you explain to them that you're not paying your bills anymore because you don't like paying your bills and thus have a personal policy against paying bills? It's not YOUR bill, it's all bills so it's nothing personal. I see a darker, colder future in store for you...

Other gems from this book:
- Broken windows theory is legit.
- If you don't have enough money, ask Amex!
- Don't like going to the gym, don't!
- Don't like recycling, make your spouse do it!

The author is essentially suggesting that you abdicate all responsibility, ignore anything you don't like, and should expect everything to be cool. If you think your family, friends, boss, and coworkers will tolerate an oversize toddler who feels fine walking away from responsibility, messes they make, and any sense of responsibility to anyone other than themselves, you might be able to survive implementing the strategies in this book.

It's seriously that bad... I halfway expected SURPRISE this is an ironic book, but it never came...

l
lisajacques
Jan 03, 2020

Hi there - may I pick this up by Jan 5?

j
jonanne15
Nov 14, 2019

This guy just likes to say f*ck a lot and it gets tedious. The basic point is “don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on what you want and don’t care what others think of you.” Not sure why the book had to be so long. If you’re a frat boy looking for some dude advice, then this is the book for you.

n
nickarrizza
Oct 24, 2019

I thought the following reflections might help give you a fresh perspective on the following belief espoused by the author,

The Belief:
'Shit is F#*ked and we have to live with it"

So what does this belief motivate us to do?

Well for one, to accept that shit is a normal part of life,
So that means everything is the way its supposed to be,
So that means that the world is functioning properly
So that means we don't need to worry to try to change anything because everything is just fine
So that means we should feel relieved, happy that all is the way it's supposed to be, content, joyful, like we can focus on other things that give us more fulfillment, so that we can get more out of life, we can feel at peace, have peace of mind, feel safe, secure, at ease, optimistic, more loving and happy to be alive.

So in summary the belief should make us feel: relieved, happy that all is the way it's supposed to be, content, joyful, like we can focus on other things that give us more fulfillment, so that we can get more out of life, we can feel at peace, have peace of mind, feel safe, secure, at ease, optimistic, more loving and happy to be alive.

I call the statement above the summary statement.

So is that true? Hardly, because the belief actually makes you feel:
frustrated, helpless, de-energized, weak, demoralized, depressed, stuck, trapped, like life sucks and is not worth living.

So that means that the belief is actually toxic and should not be something that is enhancing your life in any way.

So, if you want to truly feel the positive stuff in the summary above here's what you can do:

1. With one hand over your heart and as if you are speaking from there first acknowledge that you see that the summary above is not true and that you want that summary statement erased from your mind, body and life for good.

2. Acknowledge that the belief is in fact toxic as stated earlier and again speaking from the heart ask that the belief itself be totally erased from your mind, body and life forever.

3. Now take a moment, go inside and notice how you feel. You may notice some or all of the following: Feeling lighter, happier, more peaceful, contented,, clear, etc... So if you like how you feel, speaking from the heart acknowledge to your self that you like these feelings and that this is where you want to be.

4. After a few minutes go back to the belief we started with and reflect on how it feels to you now. Notice especially how true or false it feels to you. You may be surprised at the change. If you like the change acknowledge it to yourself as before via the heart.

if you go through this exercise you will find your ability to discern what is true and healthy and what is not to be enhanced so that you can make more healthy and self respecting choices.

k
kitkatlamb
Oct 17, 2019

In the beginning of the book, there were too many "F" words to begin with and it got a little bit boring but once you get pasted that then the book gets very interesting.
Its a good book if you are stuck in life or going through something.
Gives you a good perspective of self-respect, relationships and how to let go of things.

s
SupermanE1985
Oct 07, 2019

While not particular new ideas, the author wraps his message of anti-entitlement (in more numerous forms than expected) and intelligent priority setting in relatable stories, explanations, and citations to other authors. Some of the profanity is superlative but it's not off putting. While somewhat repetative, it's a good book that combats modern entitlement and aimlessness, it deserves a read, especially by today's teens and 20 something's.

k
KimDMcCarthy
Aug 28, 2019

No. Just no to this book.

d
dirtbag1
Aug 17, 2019

The more of this book I read the more I thought how if the richest 1% wrote a manifesto about why the 99% should be happy with what they have in a rigged game this would be it. For example, on page 119 (ebook) it states, "The pampering of the modern mind has resulted in a population that feels deserving of something without earning that something, a population that feels they have a right to something without sacrificing for it." My take on this self help book is if I want a better life, I should adopt the personal philosophy of the author. I see the next book he is flogging also has the f-bomb in the title. No need to read more.

s
SidheWrites
Jul 20, 2019

I hadn't heard much about this book, so I wasn't certain what to expect. I'm glad that I went into this knowing very little and having no expectations.

The information offered truly is counter-intuitive and rails against the "hippie-dippy, always-think-positive, let-your-wounds-be-your-guide" sort of attitude we so often see when discussing the topic of self-improvement. This will cause a lot of people to recoil, rebel, and resist what is being said. But if you are truly seeking to make changes that will have a lasting impact, then I recommend giving this a go.

d
DanielleMa
Jul 11, 2019

I didn't care about the profanity but the repetitiveness of each chapter was too much. It was basic common sense. I can summarize the this whole book by saying the following:

Accept what you cannot change about yourself or your life and it frees you from that burden. Then move on to do the things you want to do.

That is about it. It is pretty simple. We only have one life to live so get busy living or get busy dying. Your choice.

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Quotes

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wannaspring
Feb 17, 2020

Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent ; it means being comfortable with being different. 

ArapahoeMaryA Mar 13, 2019

Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.

Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it.

It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.

m
Mbussey
Aug 25, 2018

"A good life is not a life without problems. A good life is a life with good problems."
“In my experience, the more uncomfortable the answer, the more likely it is to be true.”

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blue_dog_8417
Nov 23, 2019

blue_dog_8417 thinks this title is suitable for 15 years and over

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Mbussey
Aug 25, 2018

Mbussey thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 20 and 45

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FluffyFoxeh
Aug 21, 2019

Coarse Language: This work contains curse words.

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